It has been said in more or less words by different individuals and by entire movements of people and ideals, but now I will give it a shot from my own experience as a Westernized individual:
I think that the way to finding our essence, our truer or truest possible self is through inquiry and exploration. This means not only asking the questions, but also attempting to answer them. Not only through our own introspection, but also through our peers and elders. Not only answering from one place, but by seeking out those unknown places, the ones that you think you know about even though you cannot verify why or how from personal experiences.
Too often, “knowing” comes from within the ideology that has raised a person and formed the world as he or she sees it. As a yogi may say, “note how your body feels, as we so often forget to be consciously aware of it throughout our daily living until something hurts.” I think we ought to pay closer attention and ask ourselves, “why do I believe a) b) or c) thing to be factual?” Usually we don’t ask where our beliefs and assumptions are coming from until we are challenged by a competing viewpoint. Even when that does happen, people often cling on to a belief, attaching it to their own self-identity, which results in harm to others, denial and refusal to listen to the other side etc. Moreover, if we only associate ourselves with people who share the same ideology, we are allowing social assumptions to perpetuate themselves as truths. This can make us passive to and easily influenced by social expectations, thus further removing us from the possibility of developing a real sense of self and spirit, purpose and happiness.
One of the most suffocating ways to live is through assumptions, and by accepting "that's just the way it is." When we admit that perhaps we do not know what we think we know about ourselves, others, and even more distant others, this is when we may be closest to "truth."
I think that most people want to do something purposeful, something of benefit to others, something lasting and meaningful. So, imagine if we were all able from moment to moment to attempt to let go of our so-called knowing, just long enough to truly look within and beyond. In my most idealist heart, I reckon that if we were to approach one another with this openness and honesty, we may bring to light common meanings and values. Not to say that we are all the same, because we are not, but at the very least, all we ever want is to love and be loved. The more openly we can offer and receive love, the more the universe can open up...kind of like a blossoming flower, fragrant, beautifully coloured, serene and enjoyable! Maybe that's how the phrase "stop and smell the roses" came to be…smell the roses of the universe! It’s in all people, places and things!
I guess what got me thinking about all of this in the first place is adolescence and the feelings of "what is life? Why bother?" etc. that arise. Naturally, it is our tensions and struggles in life that keep us onward moving, but many people facing the tough questions in tough times don't have the support, the person or people to tell them, “it will all be alright”, and provide them with the space to figure it all out. This brings me to more rants, one being that our individually driven society* often leaves people behind to fend for themselves, thus further fragmenting us all and further removing us from the “truth” that exists within all of us.
Undoubtedly we should care for ourselves, but one of the vital components in achieving wellness is by paying our genuine care and concern forward. This is what I try to do in my everyday life. In simply trying to show how I care, I feel that love reciprocated back to me, and then some!!!
So, maybe part of what has limited us from connecting more truly and deeply in our society is the apparent need to KNOW things before exploring the possibilities, to prescribe conditions to people and the rest of the natural world before asking, inquiring and LISTENING to the answers we may encounter. Ask, ask! Never stop asking, until there is not a beat left in your heart! The answers await us if we only dare to free ourselves and surrender to all the possibilities of the unknown :)
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In the words of Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is
that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
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*by “individually driven,” I was referring the Western, societal expectations that you are responsible for yourself and if you fail, it's your own fault, and if you succeed in achieving the "dream" then everything is owed to you, because it's ALL about YOU and YOUR way, YOUR beliefs, YOUR thoughts, YOUR words, YOUR dreams and YOUR actions. Accountability is one thing, but in centering all life circumstances around the singular ‘you,’ we become isolated from every other 'you' out there. Individualism connotes competition, winners and losers, haves and don't haves and other opposing categories that were made up in order to justify greed. In reality, these are categories that no one can ever, fully fit into anyways! There is only this, whatever we have to work with everyday, and in going it alone for "YOU YOU YOU" we completely miss out on living!
